Polyamory Glossary

Important terms to know when you're new to polyamory.

Polyamory can be complex. When you take the leap into the lifestyle you’ll not only be navigating your emotions but also through a lexicon of terms you likely hadn’t heard in your monogamous state. I thought I’ll help be your guide. ⚜️

Primary: This is your main squeeze, your ride or die, possibly your life partner. With this person you generally set boundaries around what is acceptable (meaning what keeps each of you feeling safe when playing with other partners). You may even have a ‘fluid bonding’ agreement with this person.

Secondary: This is a person with whom you might have a more casual relationship with. Alternatively, you may be very committed to this partner as well but might have less entanglements (no joint finances, possibly different households, etc.).

Triad / Throuple: This is a 3-person relationship that might include two primary partners and a secondary initially. In this dynamic all three people are romantically involved. There are also three individual relationships in a throuple that need to be nurtured. Person A and B, person B and C and person C and A.

Quad: this is a relationship involving four people that might not all be sexually linked. For example, two couples who swap partners.

Full quad: A full quad is a relationship among four people all romantically and sexually involved.

Compersion: a word we’ve discussed before - it means to feel the opposite of jealous when seeing your partner with another person. Instead of jealousy you feel joy, pride, exhilaration (juicy 😘).

Metamour: This is a person whom your partner is romantically / sexually involved with but you are not. For example, your husband’s girlfriend would be your metamour.

Fluid Bonding: This is a decision made by two or more partners about no longer using protection during sexual activity. If you’re going to pursue this make sure you’ve been tested for HIV and STDs (being responsible is sexy).

Heterosexual: Heterosexuality is sexual, romantic, and / or physical attraction to the opposite gender.

Homosexual: Homosexuality is sexual, romantic, and / or physical attraction to those of the same gender as yourself.

Bisexual: Bisexuality is sexual, romantic, and / or physical attraction to men and woman.

Pansexual: Pansexuality is a sexual, romantic, and / or physical attraction to people - all damn people - straight, bi, male, female, trans, pervert, and so on...

There are additional resources you can seek out to continue to learn more. Here are two great suggestions to get you engaged:

The Ethical Slut

More Than Two

What other words did I miss? Do you have any other book recommendations to share? Maybe you want to share your experiences from being in a polyamorous relationship? I’d love to hear from you in the comments.