Monogamy: The Fairytale

What if polyamory was the way of the relationship future?

Most of us were raised to believe in the optimistic fairy tale of monogamy even if what we actually saw was rarely magical and everlasting. We watched movies like Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella that portrayed happily ever after but the reality is about 40-50% of all marriages end in divorce (plus those movie endings aren’t even how the real books wrapped - (check out the not so magical story endings here).

These narratives lead us to expect to depend on one person, til death do us part, for all our needs and desires. Is that even fair to the other person? Codependency puts so much pressure on the relationship and the people involved. This pressure can create emotional distress, jealousy, worry and on occasion - worse.

Adding to that, monogamy often means we are supposed to suppress our attractions for others. It’s unrealistic to expect people (me) to not notice another hot guy or sexy woman even if they (I) have a ring on their (my) finger. That piece of metal doesn’t shut down desires.

So what if polyamory could be the future of relationships? Less ‘one person is the end all be all’ and more “love is love is love”. I imagine more people are already polyamorous than you’d guess. It's actually estimated that 4% to 5% of people living in the US are currently participating in consensual or ethical non-monogamy. Did you also know the 4.5% of Americans identify as LGBTQ as well? Think about that for a second. That’s a lot of free love - non-monogamy is as prevalent in the US as identifying as LGBTQ.

It's actually estimated that 4% to 5% of people living in the US are currently participating in consensual or ethical non-monogamy. Did you also know the 4.5% of Americans identify as LGBTQ as well?

Moreover, the US is already starting to normalize this type of relationship. In July 2020, the city of Somerville, Massachusetts, passed an ordinance making it one of the first cities in the nation to officially recognize polyamorous relationships. Do you see this trend folks?

I know that I’d rather take my chances giving and receiving love with multiple partners and wonder, “is actually heaven on earth?” over a monogamous fairytale any day. What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments please!